Imposing my own ambitions on my children instead of respecting their interests and abilities.

How can I avoid imposing my own ambitions on my children instead of respecting their interests and abilities?

Wow! 👏👏This is one of the most important and noble questions in parenting, because many parents unintentionally fall into it, trying to make their children live what they could not achieve.

Or they link love and acceptance to the child achieving what the father or mother dreams of, forgetting that each person has their own personality, interests, and abilities.

Let's explain it step by step, along with practical examples + a very telling story👇

✅ How can you avoid imposing your ambitions on your child?

•  Separate your dreams from theirs.

• Always ask yourself:

• This is what I want, or what does he want?

• "Does this fit his personality and talents, or does it only suit my desire?"

•  Observe his interests honestly.

• See what he naturally loves. Does he like drawing? Writing? Programming? Sports? If you notice his passion, support it instead of pushing him toward a path he doesn't enjoy.

•  Engage in dialogue, not commands.

• Instead of: "You'll become a doctor whether you like it or not!" say:

• "What do you most like to study? How do you envision your future?"

•  Help him try different things.

• Sometimes a child only discovers his passion through experience. Enroll him in various activities and see where he shines.

•  Don't underestimate his dreams.

• Even if they seem small or strange to you, don't ridicule them. For example, if he says, "I want to become an artist," don't respond, "Does drawing have a job?"

• Rather, encourage him and guide him to develop his talent.

•  Learn to say, "I'm here to support you."

• Show them that you're proud of them, no matter what they choose, and that their value to you isn't tied to achieving your own dream.

🏅 Practical Examples

❌ Incorrect: "I didn't become an engineer, so my son should become one."

✅ Correct: "My son loves science? Engineering might be a good fit for him—what if not? Listen to him and see his desire."

—

❌ Incorrect: "I worked hard for you so you could achieve what I couldn't."

✅ Correct: "I'm here to help you achieve your dream, not mine."

—

❌ Incorrect: "There's no such thing as drawing; you have to be a doctor."

✅ Correct: "Drawing is a beautiful talent! How can you develop it?"

📖 Short Story: (The Story of Adam's Dream)

Once upon a time, there was a boy named Adam. His father wanted him to become a doctor, but he couldn't, so he always said,

"Adam! You must become a great doctor!"

But Adam didn't like medicine. He loved music and played the oud for hours.

One day, he dared to say to his father:

Dad, I like playing music more than medicine."

The father was very angry and thought his son was wasting his future.

But his mother told his father:

"Just listen to it once."

At a school concert, Adam played a piece that amazed everyone. Even his father cried at the beauty of the music.

The father understood then that his son was created for a different purpose, and that his role as a father wasn't to set the path, but to support and strengthen his son's dream.

Adam later became a famous musician, and his father was the first to applaud him at every concert.

🗝️ The point:

If you want a successful and happy son, supporting him in his dream is much better than dragging him toward yours!

🌟 Summary

1. ✅ Monitor and respect his tendencies
2. ✅ Support him to discover his own abilities
3. ✅ Don't force him to carry your dreams
4. ✅ Help him build his independent personality
5. ✅ Remember: Your love is not conditional on him fulfilling your dreams