Comparing siblings or others, which sows jealousy and resentment.

How can you avoid comparing siblings or others, which sows jealousy and resentment, with examples and stories?

Wow! 👏 Your question is one of the most important keys to healthy parenting—because comparing siblings or others is one of the most common mistakes.

Many parents make it with good intentions, such as motivation, but it hurts the child and sows jealousy and resentment instead of motivating them.

Let me explain how to avoid it with clear steps + examples + a short, expressive story 👇

✅ How can you avoid comparing siblings or others?

•  Focus on the child, not their sibling.

• Instead of saying, "Look how your brother got higher grades than you!" say, "I'm confident that if you work harder, you'll be able to improve your results even more."

•  Praise each child's behavior appropriately.

• Each child has a unique characteristic. Don't try to copy them. For example:

• "I like that you're patient."

• "And I like that your brother is quick to complete his homework."

•  Teach them that differences are normal.

• Tell them that each one has a different talent: this one draws, this one reads quickly, this one memorizes songs.

•  If a competitive situation arises, make it a self-competitive one.

• "Try to be better today than you were yesterday," instead of "Be better than your brother."

•  Don't use comparison as a weapon when angry.

• If your child makes a mistake, address it based on their behavior alone. Don't say, "Why can't you be like so-and-so?"

🏅 True and False Practical Examples

❌ False: "Look at how tidy your sister is. Why are you always so messy?"

✅ Correct: "I see your room is a bit messy today. Let's tidy it up together and make it more beautiful!"

❌ Incorrect: "Your cousin is smarter than you."

✅ Correct: "I'm sure you can work harder and be creative in your own way."

📖 Short Story: (The Story of Laila and Sarah)

Once upon a time, there were two sisters named Laila and Sarah. Laila loved drawing and was very creative at it, while Sarah loved reading stories and writing short summaries.

One day, when they came home from school, their mother said to Laila:

"Sarah always gets higher grades than you!"

Laila felt sad and felt inferior to her sister. She stopped drawing and became jealous of her.

The father noticed this and asked her:

"Why don't we focus on each girl's strengths?"

The father sat with Laila and said to her:

"Laila, your drawings decorate our house! Imagine what our house would be like without your paintings?"

He said to Sarah:

"And your stories make us live beautiful tales. Each of you is special in her own way!"

Layla and Sarah were delighted, and they began to cooperate: Layla drew the pictures for the stories, and Sarah wrote them! They became a team instead of competitors.

🗝️ The point:

Instead of fostering jealousy, focus on diversity as a strength and on each child feeling talented in their own way.

✨ Conclusion

1. ✅ Praise the child for their own efforts, not by linking them to others.
2. ✅ Repeat: "Each one is special in something."
3. ✅ Encourage cooperation between siblings instead of negative competition.
4. ✅ Don't use comparison as punishment or motivation.